Thank you for your vulnerability, darling. This is a topic many women (and people in general) have confronted in their relationships, especially women like us who pride themselves in our business success and autonomy. In my journal earlier this year (and later underlined), I wrote, "Choosing to be awake is choosing to be aware of what makes you suffer." I thought of that when you wrote about how being in a partnership feels like constantly grappling with whether you should be together. In my marriage, there were many years where I didn't question the compatibility of our timelines/values, but when I reflect back on that time, I realize I wasn't in an awakened state. I think the hyperawareness of our relationships allows us to appreciate the idiosyncrasies of each partnership but also creates so much more space for analysis. It's beautiful that you're sharing openly about this struggle that can be perceived as superficial by some (not me). Ultimately, it comes down to values. You're asking yourself if you are aligned with your partner on how you value security/stability and where it exists in your hierarchy of needs.
^ to your quote, which is so poignant, adding onto it; choosing what we will suffer over is part of that as well. I appreciate this response so much. I am learning my values, and what a gift it is to dare to question and disturb them in order so I may find a fit that's the size of my being in this period :)
Thank you for your vulnerability, darling. This is a topic many women (and people in general) have confronted in their relationships, especially women like us who pride themselves in our business success and autonomy. In my journal earlier this year (and later underlined), I wrote, "Choosing to be awake is choosing to be aware of what makes you suffer." I thought of that when you wrote about how being in a partnership feels like constantly grappling with whether you should be together. In my marriage, there were many years where I didn't question the compatibility of our timelines/values, but when I reflect back on that time, I realize I wasn't in an awakened state. I think the hyperawareness of our relationships allows us to appreciate the idiosyncrasies of each partnership but also creates so much more space for analysis. It's beautiful that you're sharing openly about this struggle that can be perceived as superficial by some (not me). Ultimately, it comes down to values. You're asking yourself if you are aligned with your partner on how you value security/stability and where it exists in your hierarchy of needs.
^ to your quote, which is so poignant, adding onto it; choosing what we will suffer over is part of that as well. I appreciate this response so much. I am learning my values, and what a gift it is to dare to question and disturb them in order so I may find a fit that's the size of my being in this period :)